i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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