So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
