new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
