People in love make me want to vomit
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
