why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
