How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Nobody cheats on THIS.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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