Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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