we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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