she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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