i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
