just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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