He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize