My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
