Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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