Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
