I heard we made out
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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