i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I enjoy the company of your penis
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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