apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
