it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
