So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There r osticjed everywhere
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize