yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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