community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
