that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
