3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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