Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
