I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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