i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
