I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
