that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
