I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
