The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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