i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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