You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
