I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize