I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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