grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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