yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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