how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
