I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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