"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
