Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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