I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize