Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Blood and glitter go together right?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
