That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
