I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
