I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
