I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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