We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize