dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
