I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
