yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
