You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am available for nakedness
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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