It's Friday. Sex?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
