I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
