party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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