did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
