She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
