I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
