I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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