I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize