in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
