It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
