Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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