you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
