i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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