took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
it glows. i had to have it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
