Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
