is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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