My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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