When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
