Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I party with great urgency now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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