addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
