Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
