just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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