Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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