brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize