So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
