I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
