Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
