just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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