I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
