I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize