my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
