I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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