therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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