would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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