mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Redeem this text for a blowjob
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
