I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
