people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize